It’s a little bit funny how even after you’ve known someone for five years, you still learn new things about them.
Like the fact that they love Lillies. And green tea lemonade.
More serious things like that you never actually mean what you say, but you’ll be the first person to call me out when I’m unsure of things. See you and I aren’t that different actually. In the face of pure tragedy, we both fake it until everything and everyone around us is better. We lie when we’re unsure, and we make women fall in love with us simply in the way we walk with a little too much hip, talk with a bit of feigned adoration, smile and laugh as if we had never heard anything funnier. We work out asses off to create a better future for ourselves, but are dragged down by those around us who refuse to do better for themselves. We feel too much. And laugh at inappropriate times, the same way we cry. And the biggest difference between us is that you never believe in marriage, and I always have.
The difference is that at a young age you learned that sex can break people, and at the same age I learned that love did.
So I spent my younger years with anyone that would love me for the night, smiled at the ones that stayed till morning and kept around the ones that called me Megs, Mae, Lover, sweetheart, baby, darling, love, babe, honey, girlfriend, wifey. I knew if never marry anyone of them, because sex was sex and in my head, marriage and sex were separate entities, two different aspects of my life as if my virginity determined whether or not id be enough for someone to love one day, enough for them to marry. The rough, wild, screaming biting fighting sex was not what belonged in a marriage, so I ran at the idea. Everytime.
But you. You refuse to have axe with a girl you plan on marrying, as if saying that her body is more Important than commitment, then loyalty, you put her sex on a pedestal as if the greatest part of her was a quick fuck. So you buy a ring for a girl you’ve never slept with, and I run from last nights lay when they bring me a ring.
I don’t know who that makes wrong or right, it’s just so hard watching how easily I can be replaced. And how easily you can move on after me.